Iron Kingdoms 3.5
Gobber Snake Salesmen
Level 8 bodger level 3 Wizzard
Total Hp: 80
BAB:1, Speed: 15ft, Initiative: 5
|Melee||Total||Base Attack||Str Mod||Size Mod||Misc.|
|Ranged||Total||Base Attack||Dex Mod||Size Mod||Misc.|
|Grapple||Total||Base Attack||Str Mod||Size Mod||Misc.|
|Armor Class||Armor Bonus||Shield Bonus||Dex Mod||Size Mod||Nat. Armor||Misc.|
|Flat Footed:14||Touch:12||Total Armor Check Penalty:-3|
Weapon: Stick Stave: Attack:8, Damage:1d3 Piercing, Crit: 18-20/x2, Range 10
Weapon: Vials of Vitiol (Green): Attack:1 Acid, Crit: 20/x2, 1 Point of splash, On direct hit target must make a fort save DC16 of take 1 permanent loss of 1 charisma point.
Armor: Dirty Hide: AC bonus:+3, Max Dex: 4, Arcane SF:20%, Speed: 15ft, Weight 7, Check penalty:-3, Medium Armor.
It was the best of times, it was the worst times. To this day, the only thing I remember about my beloved father is the sound of his lifeless head slamming against the mud on the Masta’s plantation. After his execution, my mother and I escaped the oyster plantation and made a run north, to the open roads of the flatlands. After a few long, hungry days, we were picked up by a traveling band of gypsies headed west, to Fivefingers, for the yearly carnivals. As our caravan pulled into town I saw Mogo, the gypsy king, for the first time. He was magnificent. His large, uneven areolas glistened as the sweat vaporized from his untrimmed chest as he barked orders to the other gypsies. The carnivals, you see, are where we had the highest margin of profit with our beaded necklaces. The positivity of the fiscal year was entirely dependent on our ability to harass people enough into buying our cheaply made, dirty jewelry. Businesses was good that year, better then most others of late. Mogo was deeply impressed with my innate ability to sell beads, so deeply so that I was often invited to his private chambers to share his wine and love. Mogo was a strong, yet forgiving lover whom I will never forget. After the summer carnivals ended I celebrated my seventh birthday.
p. As the days turned to years, I found myself spending the majority of my time researching the local serpent species, creating a vast pool of knowledge within me. As I refined my parsletoung technique to a perfect speech craft, I had already acquired a veritable army of garter snakes, ready to die at my slightest whim. As more and more snakes came into my life, I developed a fondness for their venom, favorably served on the rocks. This soon became a crippling addiction, tearing me away from my beloved wife Rodney, and my eight sons.
p. As I sit here today, in my snake propelled house cart, doing various hard narcotics and selling respectable items to a well educated cliental, I realize I have become the most powerful and well known wizard in all of Cygnar. Thusly I must travel across the land to provide my services and enlighten the masses, for the fate of the world depends on it….
• Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions
• Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Yes
• What is your greatest fear? I have no fear
• What are your religious views? Dhuria
• What are your political views? The man, man forget the man.
• What are your views on sex? Can’t keep the honeys off me
• Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? Depends on how mad he is
• In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? I don’t know a wet willy?
• Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? Yes my beloved Rodney is my soul mate.
• What do you believe makes a successful life? As long as you fulfill your life’s quest, brother.
• How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? 100% honesty (Is a Lie)
• Do you have any biases or prejudices? Absolutely
• Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? Not much I would refuse.
• Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? Mogo the gypsy king.
Part 5: Relationships With Others
• In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? Yes I am a harden calised man to new people once they get to know me I let people through the wall then they really get to know me.
• Who is the most important person in your life, and why? Myself because fuck everyone else expect Mogo.
• Who is the person you respect the most, and why? Victor Pendrake! He is da man yo!
• Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. I don’t have friends as much as I have snakes.
• Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. Not since my crippling addiction.
• Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. The pain is too fresh in my heart.
• What do you look for in a potential lover? Completely Physical Attitudes.
• How close are you to your family? A painful distance.
• Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? I consider the snakes my family.
• Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? Snake Venom
• Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? The snakes.
• If you died or went missing, who would miss you? No one, not even the snakes.
• Who is the person you despise the most, and why? The blacks.
• Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? Depends on my drug level, I suppose.
• Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? I go where the wind takes me.
• Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? Depends on my drug level, again.
• Do you care what others think of you? Absolutely not, “Wolves do not concern themselves with the opinion of sheep”
Part 6: Likes And Dislikes
• What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? Hard Narcotics and snake venom
• What is your most treasured possession? My unicorn Pipe
• What is your favorite color? Burnt Sienna
• What is your favorite food? Is snake Venom a Food?
• What, if anything, do you like to read? books
• What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? Hard Narcotics and Snake Venom
• Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? No
• How do you spend a typical Saturday night? Very Intoxicated
• What makes you laugh? Funny stuff
• What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Women in power.
• What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Do my drugs and drink my snake venom.
• How do you deal with stress? my drugs and drink my snake venom. And rage dancing.
• Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? I am a spontaneous Passionate lover.
• What are your pet peeves? When my snakes get attitude with me.
Part 7: Self Images And Etc.
• Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? The road takes me many a place I have no routine.
• What is your greatest strength as a person? My ability to uhh help others.
• What is your greatest weakness? My illiteracy
• If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I would like to be a couple inches taller.
• Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Yes
• Are you generally organized or messy? Messy
• Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. Good: Paying women for sex, Bad: Making long lists
• Do you like yourself? yes
• What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…)I must spread knowledge and teach little kid stuff alone in my trailer.
• What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? Fit NINE snakes in my mouth.
• Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Dead
• If you could choose, how would you want to die? Tragic Snake Hunt accident.
• If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. Pay for sex and work on my ability to write longer lists.
• What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? My great deeds in Wizardry
• What three words best describe your personality? Hunky
• What three words would others probably use to describe you? Dirty, Venerable, Wise
• If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…) Keep it big Keep it real.